When we got to the doctor's office, I was thinking that she would not be able to help and would tell us that we should just wait for it to go away. Doctor Hamilton was immediately concerned and they measured the oxygen level in his blood. It was in the low 80's, which she said meant that he must go to the hospital right away, in an ambulance. I couldn't believe it! Ambulance?! It was an EMERGENCY?! I texted Amma and Lance and told them to meet us at Dell Childrens' Hospital. Meanwhile, Doctor Hamilton was trying to get her oxygen tank to work so Sawyer could get air while we waited for the ambulance. It wasn't working. She decided that we should run over to the local emergency center, which was right next to her office. On our way over there I was carrying Sawyer in my arms. He looked pale. I remember him looking up at me as if to see read the emotion from my face. I was tearing up, but otherwise I felt very numb. I was in shock.
Sawyer in the ambulance:
Once we arrived at the emergency center there was some confusion about whether we needed to check in first. I will always remember doctor Hamilton insisting that they just give him the oxygen right away. I couldn't believe they were asking us to follow procedure first. Thankfully the ambulance arrived before they treated him. The paramedics immediately gave Sawyer the oxygen and I knew right away that he would likely be okay. His color came back and he seemed more alert. They measured his oxygen level in the upper 90's. What a relief! Those moments of waiting were painful, I felt as though I could not breathe until Sawyer got what he needed. The paramedics helped to put us at ease as they asked us questions and even showed Sawyer an Elmo video on one of their phones. Since he was able to breathe, they did not hurry to the hospital but drove at a normal speed without the sirens. It seemed like a very long drive, and I was still in a state of shock for most of the way.
When we finally got there we entered the emergency room and the doctors came to treat Sawyer. He was put on a hospital bed and hooked up with tubes to his nose and an IV. He was mostly calm but, of course, he cried when they put in the IV. The nurse brought a soothing music machine and he was able to drink a bottle to calm him down. Lance, Amma, and Papa arrived and were able to provide us both with support. The doctors took a sample of his blood to test for RSV, and I went with Sawyer to take X rays of his chest to see if there was any Pneumonia. That part was particularly difficult because they put him on a special table that was designed to keep him still and I could not be next to him. He had to put his arms up in the air while stabilizers were next to his chest. The poor guy wailed through that procedure and I really could not blame him for being terrified.
When we got back to his room I lied down on the bed and held Sawyer for the rest of the time that we were in there. The doctor came back and said that there was a small amount of Pneumonia in his left lung and that there was no RSV. The course of treatment was to give him breathing treatments with Albuterol, continue the oxygen, give him steroids to reduce the inflammation in his lungs, and continue fluids through the IV. We were soon admitted to the hospital and moved to a room on another floor. They were able to move us together as I held him. That was an interesting experience, being carted on a hospital bed through the hallways with my baby. It of course reminded me of being at the hospital when my babies were born and being carted through the halls before and after my surgeries. I immediately felt queasy.
While Sawyer had been stabilized, he still was not out of the woods. Before he got his next breathing treatment, he was really laboring to breathe. His doctor cautioned that he might need to be moved to another floor for more support if he could not make it between breathing treatments. As he cried and struggled, Amma and I took turns holding him and comforting him. It was so helpful to have my parents there, especially because Lance and I had gotten little sleep. We were also grateful to Granmom and Grandad for keeping Benjamin and Evan, and providing them entertainment to distract them. We would later get texts from them, showing us pictures of the boys having a picnic that afternoon.
The first evening we were there Sawyer really started to look better. They had to keep us for two nights because he was still laboring on the second day. The breathing treatments came every 3 or 4 hours, and the nurse frequently suctioned his nose to help him breathe. Of course, he hated both of those procedures and I can't count the number of times we assured him, "its okay baby, its okay". The nurses and doctors were great, and I am so glad that we were in a childrens' hospital, as well as a teaching hospital. We had excellent care and an entire team of med students, interns, nurses, and a supervising physician were monitoring our baby.
It was absolutely no fun staying in the hospital those two nights, as people kept coming in the room every time we fell asleep and it was still so hard to see Sawyer hooked up to tubes. The monitors were constantly beeping because the tubes would be bent and the blood oxygen level could not be accurately read. I missed my little boys so much and felt awful that they must be worried on some level but not able to understand what was going on. When we were released I felt such relief and I was so happy to come home to see Benjamin and Evan.
It took a couple of days, but things gradually went back to normal. I had tons of laundry to catch up with and we had to continue the breathing treatments for Sawyer. Every time we gave him a treatment he became hyperactive due to the Albuterol. It was sometimes entertaining because he learned to scream and roll over multiple times across the floor.
Throughout the whole experience I was just feeling so close to God. From the time when doctor Hamilton told me that Sawyer had to go to the hospital until we actually got there, I did not stop focusing on God's presence. I just felt him there and knew he was at work in our lives, in control. That sense definitely kept me from panicking and allowed me to stay calm and focused on calming Sawyer. The first night at the hospital I just kept thanking God for protecting Sawyer and for being such a loving God. Sawyer's sickness happened to coincide with a spiritual renewal and deepening for me. Just the day before I had been affected by a sermon on Ephesians regarding how much God loves us. I am still trying to process the meaning of all of this, as I know it is interconnected. For now I will just be thankful, so very thankful that we have this precious gift, our little Sawyer.
