Reflection

With Evan's 2-month birthday approaching, I'm thinking that it is time to reflect on my/our new life here at the Vaughn home. Not so much for others to read but to look back and to remember what this time was like and to capture it before it slips away. I find myself trying to remember how things were with Benjamin at this age and kicking myself for not writing it down. We have so many pictures and videos but no words to capture the thoughts and feelings of that time. It is true what they say, it goes quickly, and once it goes its gone.

Life with a newborn seems like a continuous cycle of feedings, changing diapers, soothing, and putting down for naps. I'm thinking that it seems that way because that is how it really is. I have been wishing for the day that we can do more with Evan than just the basic survival routine. I know, they all tell you not to wish it away because he is only a newborn for such a brief time. Well, that is fine for them to say, but frankly its not always fun. I try to capture those moments when he is lying on my chest and I can smell his sweet, milky breath. I do savor those moments but they seem to get lost in the minutia of daily life. No sooner do I experience that amazing feeling that I am holding my new son, a new personality in our lives, then it is time to do something else. It is time to burp, time to wipe, time to change both of our clothes that are covered in spit up, time to change Benjamin's diaper, time to get Benjamin's milk (well, you get the idea).

The great news is that its feeling a little easier than I was expecting when he first got here. During those first few weeks I could not imagine how I could possibly take care of Evan and still have time to meet Benjamin's needs. I am now at the point that I can do both and feel fairly competent doing so. Oh, and I can also fit in a shower and putting on make up for myself. That is where the feeling of competence ends at this point. I'm still not sure how we will make it out of the house, how Benjamin will get his social needs met, or how I will ever have exercise a steady part of my life. Did I mention that I would also like to make gourmet meals, garden, and be more active in our church?? Rather than feeling overwhelmed about these things, I have tried to see it as a challenge. Like, "ok now I can do this, let's see what it is like to add on one of these other things". Feeling this way right now indicates that I have probably gotten a good amount of sleep!

So there you have it, a reflection on the mommy of two experience at 2 months out. I'm pretty sure that I have a few very insightful, almost poetic statements to add but I do hear Evan calling!