Three's Company

After a very long hiatus, I've decided to get back in the blogging business. There's really no excuse for stopping in the first place, but I can try to blame it on going back to work and just being too tired in the evenings to do anything that takes mental energy. However, there is a very good reason for starting again. We are having another baby! Lance and I found out in October that we will be adding a third child to the family. This is never something we expected, but it was planned after very careful consideration. I can't explain why I couldn't stop thinking about having another baby this past summer. Not a moment in my life had I considered that I would have more than two children. It took lots of analysis of positives and negatives, asking some mothers of three or more, and praying before Lance and I agreed it was the best thing for our family. We just imagined that, despite the extra work we are creating for ourselves, a bigger family might just be better for us in many ways. We were both one of two siblings growing up, so this would be something different from our previous experience of family.

In January we found out the gender our our third child. Naturally, we were both thinking a girl would be awesome and totally unexpected. When we went in for the ultrasound it was immediately apparent that we would not be having a girl. There was some disappointment for me. It was not that I didn't want a boy, or that I didn't love boys, but that I knew for sure that I would never have a daughter. When you have three kids, you just naturally expect that one of them will be a girl. Life is full of experiences, and having a daughter is one that is just not part of God's plan for us. As I grappled with this reality, I realized several things that have helped me find closure to my dream of a little girl. First, with three boys, I will likely have three daughters-in-law and possibly granddaughters. Second, I can teach my sons how to relate better to women by showing them about feelings, showing empathy, and demonstrating listening skills. Finally, what a gift for Evan, Benjamin, and the new baby to grow up as three brothers! I also realized that God had different plans for me and my family than what I thought was best or ideal. For some reason that I can't yet imagine, a family of three boys is what is best for all of us. The fulfillment of God's plan far outweighs my desire to buy pink clothes and to have someone to go shopping with. My vision is Earthly, short-sighted, and temporary, His plans are all-knowing and eternal.

I'm at 21 weeks now and we expect our third son, Sawyer, to arrive in late June. I am so glad that we decided to have another child, and I can't wait to meet him!

He is waving at us!