Ok, so this is probably not the 47th life update, but it certainly sounded good to me. The point is that it seems life is constantly updating, and we tend to lose track of where we are and where we have been when everything is so busy. Things are on track here and I'm starting to feel like I've got my groove back after adding child 3 to the mix. The capacity for the human to adjust to life experiences simply amazes me. I easily recall the days just five years ago when Lance and I wondered if we would want more than one child. Fast forward five years and here we are adjusting to three. We had it in us all along, we just could not see it from where we were in the murkiness of the adjustment to the first son.
God is good.
So much of my life is tied to what is going on outdoors. The best time to be here on Sunflower Trail is April-May, and we are in the thick of it now. The greenbelt is awash with gorgeous Firewheel wildflowers, the birds are very active and their varieties are numerous. Benjamin has become a total bird enthusiast since my dad gave him a bird identification book a while back. He can identify quite a few birds and is constantly looking around for new birds to name. The other day we saw a Woodpecker and Benjamin said, "its a Ladderback". Well I had never heard of that kind of woodpecker, and frankly I didn't know of any kind besides the general. When we came inside to look it up in his book, he was correct! It was great to see the look of awe on his face when we saw it and he exclaimed, "its my first real Woodpecker". Besides the Woodpecker we have seen Ravens, Red Tailed Hawk, Cardinals, Hummingbirds, and even a Cara Cara (known as the Mexican Eagle).
I have started to plant vegetables, and every morning we go out to see the progress they have made; I love it! I briefly left behind gardening while I was overwhelmed with my third pregnancy and then my third little boy. It seemed that there was way too much to take care of already. In just the past month I have gotten the bug back. It all started when we went to the gardening center after the boys' football practice. We picked out some seeds and I was hooked. I thought how different it would be to start something as a seed and follow it through to completion. The boys were excited at first, but it appears that they are not patient enough to wait for the plant to fully establish. I don't think they can appreciate the small changes that the plants make every day. They are too young for that kind of perspective.
I have a way of looking forward to what might be some day, and not fully living in the place where I am. In other words, I fail to bloom where I am planted and to want what I have. I notice myself doing this ALL THE TIME. One manifestation of this is when my mind pictures the house that we will surely live in one day soon. I think to myself that, for sure, we will need more space and, of course, a pool. I start looking in the real estate section and envisioning us in a bigger, slightly pricier home. Then I look out the back at the gorgeous Firewheels, the open space of green behind our house, the hawk, the butterfly garden, and its hard to imagine not being here anymore. I am so thankful to God for giving us what we have and it is hard to understand why I always want more. But that is my human nature, it will never change. All I can do is ask God to help me to manage and to tame it. I know He will; He is good.
Lately I have been feeling positive about a few things. The most important is my life as a full time mom. Despite the constant sense of chaos and the never-ending piles of toys and laundry, I am really settling in to this job. Its the most importnat thing. The number one job I have in life is to raise these boys to know, love, and follow God. The best way I have of doing this is talking about Him, teaching about Him, and showing them through my actions about love and forgiveness. I have a long way to go, it is a winding and treacherous path. It is one that we can walk on together, as I have much more to learn about God and much more room to grow in my daily walk with Him. I am so happy and fulfilled in this life that He has given me. This is what I hope for my children. If this happens for them, then all the other failings will seem insignificant. We'll take it day by day.
Right on!
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