Thankful

It was just one week ago, and I still can't believe that it even  happened.  Sawyer had a mild runny nose last week, and I felt sure that it was clearing up.  Last Sunday night he woke up every 15-20 minutes crying and nothing could calm him down.  He was so exhausted.  Lance and I would go in and pick him up, rock him, try to give him a bottle, but nothing seemed to work.  I would put him back in bed and he would fall asleep for 15-20 minutes, and the whole cycle would repeat ALL. NIGHT. LONG.  I kept thinking for sure that he would eventually fall asleep for several hours, but he did not.  That is how I knew that we would have to take him to the doctor in the morning.  When I woke up (after sleeping for an hour), I saw that he was having labored breathing so I took him right away.

When we got to the doctor's office, I was thinking that she would not be able to help and would tell us that we should just wait for it to go away.  Doctor Hamilton was immediately concerned and they measured the oxygen level in his blood.  It was in the low 80's, which she said meant that he must go to the hospital right away, in an ambulance.  I couldn't believe it! Ambulance?!  It was an EMERGENCY?!  I texted Amma and Lance and told them to meet us at Dell Childrens' Hospital.  Meanwhile, Doctor Hamilton was trying to get her oxygen tank to work so Sawyer could get air while we waited for the ambulance.  It wasn't working.  She decided that we should run over to the local emergency center, which was right next to her office.  On our way over there I was carrying Sawyer in my arms.  He looked pale.  I remember him looking up at me as if to see read the emotion from my face.  I was tearing up, but otherwise I felt very numb.  I was in shock.


Sawyer in the ambulance:

Once we arrived at the emergency center there was some confusion about whether we needed to check in first.  I will always remember doctor Hamilton insisting that they just give him the oxygen right away.  I couldn't believe they were asking us to follow procedure first.  Thankfully the ambulance arrived before they treated him.  The paramedics immediately gave Sawyer the oxygen and I knew right away that he would likely be okay.  His color came back and he seemed more alert.  They measured his oxygen level in the upper 90's.  What a relief!  Those moments of waiting were painful, I felt as though I could not breathe until Sawyer got what he needed.  The paramedics helped to put us at ease as they asked us questions and even showed Sawyer an Elmo video on one of their phones.  Since he was able to breathe, they did not hurry to the hospital but drove at a normal speed without the sirens.  It seemed like a very long drive, and I was still in a state of shock for most of the way.

When we finally got there we entered the emergency room and the doctors came to treat Sawyer.  He was put on a hospital bed and hooked up with tubes to his nose and an IV.  He was mostly calm but, of course, he cried when they put in the IV.  The nurse brought a soothing music machine and he was able to drink a bottle to calm him down.  Lance, Amma, and Papa arrived and were able to provide us both with support.  The doctors took a sample of his blood to test for RSV, and I went with Sawyer to take X rays of his chest to see if there was any Pneumonia.  That part was particularly difficult because they put him on a special table that was designed to keep him still and I could not be next to him.  He had to put his arms up in the air while stabilizers were next to his chest.  The poor guy wailed through that procedure and I really could not blame him for being terrified.  

When we got back to his room I lied down on the bed and held Sawyer for the rest of the time that we were in there.  The doctor came back and said that there was a small amount of Pneumonia in his left lung and that there was no RSV.  The course of treatment was to give him breathing treatments with Albuterol, continue the oxygen, give him steroids to reduce the inflammation in his lungs, and continue fluids through the IV.  We were soon admitted to the hospital and moved to a room on another floor.  They were able to move us together as I held him.  That was an interesting experience, being carted on a hospital bed through the hallways with my baby.  It of course reminded me of being at the hospital when my babies were born and being carted through the halls before and after my surgeries.  I immediately felt queasy.  

While Sawyer had been stabilized, he still was not out of the woods.  Before he got his next breathing treatment, he was really laboring to breathe.  His doctor cautioned that he might need to be moved to another floor for more support if he could not make it between breathing treatments.  As he cried and struggled, Amma and I took turns holding him and comforting him.  It was so helpful to have my parents there, especially because Lance and I had gotten little sleep.  We were also grateful to Granmom and Grandad for keeping Benjamin and Evan, and providing them entertainment to distract them.  We would later get texts from them, showing us pictures of the boys having a picnic that afternoon.

The first evening we were there Sawyer really started to look better.  They had to keep us for two nights because he was still laboring on the second day.  The breathing treatments came every 3 or 4 hours, and the nurse frequently suctioned his nose to help him breathe.  Of course, he hated both of those procedures and I can't count the number of times we assured him, "its okay baby, its okay".  The nurses and doctors were great, and I am so glad that we were in a childrens' hospital, as well as a teaching hospital.  We had excellent care and an entire team of med students, interns, nurses, and a supervising physician were monitoring our baby.  

It was absolutely no fun staying in the hospital those two nights, as people kept coming in the room every time we fell asleep and it was still so hard to see Sawyer hooked up to tubes.  The monitors were constantly beeping because the tubes would be bent and the blood oxygen level could not be accurately read.  I missed my little boys so much and felt awful that they must be worried on some level but not able to understand what was going on.  When we were released I felt such relief and I was so happy to come home to see Benjamin and Evan. 

 It took a couple of days, but things gradually went back to normal.  I had tons of laundry to catch up with and we had to continue the breathing treatments for Sawyer.  Every time we gave him a treatment he became hyperactive due to the Albuterol.  It was sometimes entertaining because he learned to scream and roll over multiple times across the floor.

Throughout the whole experience I was just feeling so close to God.  From the time when doctor Hamilton told me that Sawyer had to go to the hospital until we actually got there, I did not stop focusing on God's presence.  I just felt him there and knew he was at work in our lives, in control.  That sense definitely kept me from panicking and allowed me to stay calm and focused on calming Sawyer.  The first night at the hospital I just kept thanking God for protecting Sawyer and for being such a loving God.  Sawyer's sickness happened to coincide with a spiritual renewal and deepening for me.  Just the day before I had been affected by a sermon on Ephesians regarding how much God loves us.  I am still trying to process the meaning of all of this, as I know it is interconnected.  For now I will just be thankful, so very thankful that we have this precious gift, our little Sawyer.

My Son, Benjamin

I decided to do a profile on each of my sons to capture who they are at this moment in their lives.  I naturally decided to start with Benjamin, since he is our first little boy.  Its hard to know where to start, so I will just list a bunch of adjectives that describe him:  beautiful, sweet, loving, curious, intense, smart, funny, caring, affectionate, talented, athletic.  Wow, that is just a sampling of his many great qualities!  Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention that he is also creative.  

Benjamin is well into the age of five at this time, and he is more than ready to start Kindergarten in the fall.  He has been in preschool on a part-time basis since he was 15 months old.  We took him for an "interview" at a private school, and we are waiting to hear if he will be accepted.  I feel fairly comfortable saying that Benjamin will do well wherever he goes to school.  He has such an interest for learning, is so motivated, and is always on his best behavior in the classroom setting.  I can't wait for him to start this journey in his life.

Benjamin has really enjoyed arts and crafts.  He is always wanting to create something, whether it be a drawing, a painting, a snowflake, or a play doh creation.  Its funny how he asks me what I want him to draw, but almost always draws whatever he wanted to draw instead.  I'm left thinking, "why even ask me in the first place?".  But if I tell him he should draw whatever he wants, he always insists that I decide!  He frequently says that he is making his creations for me; he is such a sweet boy!  Things that he enjoys drawing now are flowers, landscapes, houses, and dragons (just to name a few!).  

Benjamin is getting to know the Lord more every day.  He reminds me if I forget to pray with him at night.  Benjamin often mentions people without food when we talk about who to pray for.  He is really a loving boy.  I see this in his relationship with me, as he tells me how much he loves me.  His descriptions of the strength of his love just fill me up so much I might burst.  He doesn't realize that no matter how much he love me, I love him more!  

I also see Benjamin's loving nature in how he is with his brothers.  Despite the typical antagonizing that goes on between brothers, Benjamin shows  his love for Evan in many ways.  If Evan is crying, he tries to cheer him up.  Just yesterday Evan woke up crying and Benjamin told him, "I love you so much that I will let you look in my private box".  He was willing to show his secret treasures to Evan in order to cheer him up.  Benjamin has been loving with Sawyer since he came home.  I am so glad that Sawyer has his big brother to love him every day.  Whenever I leave the room and Sawyer starts fussing, Benjamin stops what he is doing to entertain him.  He sits next to Sawyer in the car and makes sure that his needs are met.  For instance, Benjamin holds the remote to Sawyer's musical mirror so that he can be sure to turn it on if it shuts off.  I doubt many babies have ever been so well entertained.

Benjamin has such a special place in our family, as he is the first born.  Having this position makes him a leader, but I feel that he is a natural leader.  Benjamin is competitive and intense, some might say he is "Type A".  However, the great thing is that these qualities are balanced by a loving and tender heart.  What a gift from God, our Benjamin!

Sawyer is Growing

Sawyer is now seven months old.  He is finally starting to grow, and he fits pretty well in the 6 month outfits.  His hair is still baby fine and sticks up on end.  Recently, a lady at church labeled it "happy hair".  The poor guy has had a string of colds and it seems like his nose is always runny; so lately he has been snorting instead of babbling!  I hope it all clears up soon in time for him to start talking.  

Sawyer really loves rolling over now because it helps him to get things that are out of reach.  He can push up very far on his arms but is not ready to make the forward crawling motion with his legs.  If you put him on the hardwood floor or another smooth surface, he will get around pretty well by going backward and sideways!  Benjamin is really entertained by all of this and so excited whenever Sawyer does something new.  For sure I'd say that, aside from mommy, Benjamin is his best friend.  Because I don't always have the available attention that I would like to have for him, I'm glad there's always another smiling face there for him, his big brother.  I'm still hoping that Evan will warm up to him soon.

Sawyer seems like a pretty easy baby overall.  He still has his fussy moments, but he goes with the flow.  He loves being in the Baby Bjorn while I am outside with his brothers; this really helps because I need a hand free for throwing softballs or general errands that the boys always ask for.  Sawyer also goes down pretty easily for his naps and nighttime sleep.  He is on a solid two long naps schedule with a short one in the evening so we can make  and/or eat dinner.  He has also done great when we leave him at the church or gym nursery.  Really, what else could a mommy ask for??  He's just my sweet little guy.

Seriously, does it get any cuter/sweeter than this??

 Sawyer does enjoy being outdoors and will be happy for a little while on the towel while I throw balls to the big brothers.

This is classic Sawyer (really classic for all 3 boys as babies).  We may just have to get new carpet or replace it all after Sawyer is done.

Here Sawyer is trying to get to the duck, about three minutes after I put him down one foot away from it!

Benjamin is such a great big brother.  He always loves to entertain Sawyer with his silly antics.  He helps me when I have to leave Sawyer for a minute.

Sawyer at 6 months

It is definitely time for a Sawyer update!  My littlest boy turned 6 months before Christmas.  We found out that he is very little and the doctor asked us to fatten him up.  Since then he has had his little face stuffed on a daily basis.  Lucky guy!  Sawyer has been nothing but a delight in our family.  He smiles and laughs so much.  Benjamin absolutely loves making him laugh with silly sounds and funny moves.  I think Evan is warming up to him too, but he still tends to be a little too rough.  

Sawyer has been sitting up well for a while now, and even took a couple of baths in the tub with his brothers.  When we put him on his tummy he will lift up with his arms straight and kick his back legs.  He just can't wait to crawl and play with his older brothers.  He can also roll over both ways.  He recently learned to roll from back to tummy to reach his toys.  Sawyer just seems like such a sweet, affectionate little boy.  I can see the fun times coming in full force very soon.

Sawyer loves to eat and will pretty much gobble down anything that we give him.  So far his favorites are pears, carrots, and Vegetable Turkey Dinner (an old fav of Benjamin's).  He does not seem too keen on bananas and mangos but I think the added citric acid made them a little too tart.  I should just puree them myself.  Of course, it would help to have more time.  Certainly if I did I would make him the most gourmet baby food on a daily basis ;)

New Year's Eve 2012

Lance and I planned a night away at the last minute.  We decided to stay at a hotel downtown and take in a show at the Paramount theater.  We were lucky enough to see one of our favorites, Bob Schneider.  We discovered a new band, Saints of Valory, who opened for Bob.  We go out so infrequently and hardly ever hear new bands, so it was great to find a new one that we like.  We ate dinner at a charming Italian restaurant and stayed at the Stephen F Austin hotel.  It was my first night away from Sawyer, who spent the night with Amma and Papa.  The older boys spent the night with Granmom and Grandad.  From the looks of the photos that we got, it seems as though they had about as good of a time as we did!  What an awesome way to end this year, which has been so incredibly amazing for our family.  God has really blessed us, we hardly feel that we deserve such a life!

A Look Back at the Holidays

All over the world today, thousands of mothers are writing a similar post about just finally getting around to blogging after the busy holidays.  Hey, January fourth really is not too bad, is it?  After all, we just had Evan's birthday!  Its hard to know where to start, but maybe I'll just put up some photos and make comments about them.  I will say that it was generally a fabulous couple of weeks, albeit extremely full and tiring.  Having the boys home all week really made a difference in the amount of time I had to keep up with important household duties, and especially with this blog!

This little guy showed up at our house shortly after Thanksgiving.  We named him "Gelf the Look Elf", and the boys just loved waking up to see where he showed up next.  I must say, he was quite creative in finding new places to hang out.  We should be seeing him again next December!

As can be seen by the photo, the Vaughns got plenty of gifts this year.  To be fair, this is pretty much all of it since I did most of my shopping on line.  After all, who wants to go out in the cold, scary shopping world when one can order gifts from the comfort of home?  

This gorgeous angel announcing the birth of our Lord and Savior was the only Christmas decoration on our lawn.  I was happy with her because she reminds us of the true Christmas.  The greatest gift of all!

Speaking of gifts, Sawyer received his very first Christmas gift at Amma and Papa's house on Christmas Eve.  The wrapping was actually a lot more prized than the actual gift, a stuffed Curious George.

Of course with the kids out of school for so long, mommy got a little worn down and our house was swimming with laundry and boxes.  However, we did manage to have some fun during those days.  One particular instance involved Evan and a game of dress up.  Doesn't he look cute!?  I finally "got my girl"!

Christmas morning was magical as expected.  Benjamin was very quick to notice that he got all of what he had asked from Santa.  The boys were practically jumping out of their skin while opening their stockings.  Favorite gifts included a boomerang, remote control car for Evan, hula hoop, and a marshmallow shooter.

Amma got the boys a puppet theater.  They have been more focused on the toys that provide immediate gratification (marshmallow shooter and remote control car), but I'm sure we will have many fun afternoons with it.  As you can see, Evan was working on a story about a mouse.

The holidays were also full of plenty of brotherly love and togetherness.  Benjamin and Sawyer are the best of friends.  Benjamin and Evan were the plaid shirt twins at family gatherings.  We enjoyed spending time at family parties, and the boys loved all the goodies.

After Christmas we went for our traditional dinner at the Four Seasons to see the train and gingerbread house village.  It is different every year, and its always fun to see what Austin landmarks have been replicated with candy and frosting.  Unfortunately, I only got one shot of it, and no pictures with the boys :(

We managed to make another big change in our lives over the holiday season.  Lance talked me into joining a local gym that provides childcare while you work out.  We went for a tour and the boys thought they would love it, so it was enough to convince me. You can barely make out the picture below where Lance is taking a cycling class.  Lance and I have also enjoyed a kickboxing class that we have taken together.  Sawyer is doing great in the nursery! 

Overall it was really wonderful holiday season.  We talked with the boys more about Jesus, and worked on praying more every night.  Lance and I are really focusing on our parenting these days and, with the help of the Lord, our boys will come to know and love Him.  We felt a little guilty about buying so many material things and debated about how "Biblical" this is.  On the other hand, we did make sure to give more to charity this year.  Through our church we provided provisions for children in Haiti and donated chairs for a church in Africa in the name of the Vaughn family.  But Lance and I know we need to do more, and this is an important goal for 2013.

Evan Turns 3!

On a quiet, cloudy day yesterday, Evan turned 3.  Just 3 years ago, this sweet and charming boy entered our lives and we were forever changed.  This birthday seemed special, because for the first time he really understood that he was getting bigger.  This year he knew more about what birthdays are and the excitement was noticeably greater.  We counted down the days and with each one Evan's grin got wider.  

We gathered at Chuy's with Amma and Papa, Granmom and Grandad, and had a festive Mexican feast before heading home to open gifts and eat cupcakes.  On the way home Evan sang along to "Go Tell it On the Mountain"!  I was surprised at how well he remembered the words.  He was shouting out so loud when we got out of the car.  It just made me realize how, when a child turns 3, they really seem to come into their own personality.  I really noticed this in Evan yesterday and it was great to see.  

Because it is just after Christmas, Evan's birthday comes before any of us are ready.  The boys still haven't played with half of their Christmas gifts, and here we are opening MORE GIFTS!  It was nice for Evan, though, because this time the day was all about him and the gifts were his.  Benjamin took part in the gift-giving this year, and gave Evan an angry birds sleeping bag and pillow.  He also presented Evan's motorized vehicle by riding it into the living room.  So far, there have only been a few minor disagreements about whose turn it is to ride.  We'll see how that goes this afternoon when they get back from "Winter Camp"!