Tuesday, June 26, 2012
One Week Old
I can't believe that Sawyer joined our family just one week ago. Already, he has an entire portfolio of photographs taken by several great photographers. There is such an urge to capture these fleeting moments of newbornhood before they are forever gone. Despite the discomforts of recovering from his birth and not getting much of any sleep, part of me does not want this time to go by. I know how quickly it changes, for how brief a time he will be so tiny. I adore stroking his soft face and putting my finger in his little hand. The sounds he makes and the little faces are priceless and just so precious.
Like before, with Evan's birth, I feel sad about my other boys. I worry that they feel abandoned by me and it just breaks my heart. My love for them just seems to burst in these moments and I want to spend individual time with them so badly. However, my days have been consumed by care for Sawyer; nursing for forty minutes at a time ten times per day, changing diapers, and coaxing him to sleep. The first days have also been consumed by my need to recover from surgery and find the time to take care of these basic needs of my own. I must trust that this time is brief and that soon our family will adjust, and I will feel able to meet the needs of my other two boys. Of course, when I look at Sawyer and see what a miracle he is, it all seems worth it. Everyday I say the prayer, "Lord, please give me the strength to cope and to care for my children". Again I am reminded of the last church service that we went to and the message that we do not have what it takes, but the One who has us always has what it takes. Amen.
Family of Five
The stay in the hospital was not too bad; in fact, I wanted to stay longer than last time. Its hard to beat the nurses bringing you what you need and handing you the baby when it is time to feed at night. Lance agreed to stay 3 nights instead of 2. Although there were many people coming in and out of the room for various reasons, it was relatively peaceful. We did not have the sense of needing to clean or do anything else but rest and take care of the baby.
We also enjoyed some very special visitors, ones who were thrilled to see their new brother! The boys were so cute when they came to see Sawyer for the first time. Their faces just lit up with excitement! They each wanted to hold him, and competed over whose turn it was to hold him next. There was a slight sense of shock for me over suddenly having three children. But, alas, I was in the hospital bed and was not yet required to take care of all three of them! Heaven help us when we get home!
We also enjoyed some very special visitors, ones who were thrilled to see their new brother! The boys were so cute when they came to see Sawyer for the first time. Their faces just lit up with excitement! They each wanted to hold him, and competed over whose turn it was to hold him next. There was a slight sense of shock for me over suddenly having three children. But, alas, I was in the hospital bed and was not yet required to take care of all three of them! Heaven help us when we get home!
Sawyer David Vaughn
Well, it has taken me a week to finally enter a new post. Its hard to imagine that just one week ago we were in the hospital just getting to see our little guy for the first time. The week has gone by quickly. I would like to take this moment to thank God for a safe delivery and for a perfect baby boy.
Sawyer was born on Tuesday, June 19th, at 8:14am and weighed 7 pounds, 9 ounces. I was much more calm during the surgery than I expected, again thanks to God who answered my prayers. When he came out he was very loud with a gurgling cry. The doctors and nurses remarked on how much fluid he was in, joking that they had taken him out of his swimming pool. It was such a relief to see him for the first time; not even in dreams could I imagine another beautiful, healthy little boy. I remember thinking that he looked like a combination of his brothers, with Benjamin's nose and Evan's delicate features. I also remember how loud the cry was and the feeling of relief associated with it. The anesthesiologist was kind enough to take our first family photo.
Much of the early hours are somewhat of a blur due to the medication I was getting. I just remember being very happy and relieved that he was healthy and that the surgery was over. The first day Sawyer barely opened his eyes, but he did manage to open one. Lance joked that he would call him "One-Eyed Sawyer". He was born with long fingernails, as you can see he had already scratched his face.
I keep thinking how amazing it is that we are doing this for the third time. I never thought I would be back in the hospital with another baby boy. After all, several times in this blog I had mentioned that we would never be here again. You just never know what life is going to bring and what God is going to put in your heart. I am thankful that He brought us a new life, our baby Sawyer.
Much of the early hours are somewhat of a blur due to the medication I was getting. I just remember being very happy and relieved that he was healthy and that the surgery was over. The first day Sawyer barely opened his eyes, but he did manage to open one. Lance joked that he would call him "One-Eyed Sawyer". He was born with long fingernails, as you can see he had already scratched his face.
I keep thinking how amazing it is that we are doing this for the third time. I never thought I would be back in the hospital with another baby boy. After all, several times in this blog I had mentioned that we would never be here again. You just never know what life is going to bring and what God is going to put in your heart. I am thankful that He brought us a new life, our baby Sawyer.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Less Than 2 Days
Wow! This is such an exciting time for our family. We have less than two days before baby Sawyer joins our family. I am nervous about surgery, recovery, and sleeplessness, but I am also so excited to meet him and start the next phase of our lives. This weekend was full of events including our anniversary and Father's Day. Now we have the birth of a baby to look forward to; he will be a wonderful anniversary gift for me and Lance and Father's Day gift for Lance and the grandfathers.
The boys are starting to get more excited, but Benjamin has let us know in his own special way that he is anxious about the upcoming changes. We underestimated how this would impact him, but we are working to address his fears as much as possible. After all, he knows that this will be a permanent change. Evan is not really aware of what is about to happen, which makes it easier in some ways. I just pray that we can give them all what they need so that they don't have to feel afraid or anxious. However, I also know that this is a normal part of adjustment to change, even when the change is good.
As is so often the case, we had a very appropriate and timely sermon today at church. I didn't know if we would make it today since I haven't been sleeping well and generally do not feel great while out and about. However, God wanted me there today and Lance was so helpful with the boys that we all made it happen. Today we talked about the question, "Do I have what it takes?". The pastor, TA, explained that the answer to this question is generally, "No, you don't". He used the story of David and Goliath to illustrate how we should not rely on what we have to get through a tough situation, but on Who has us in the situation. I think this is so relevant given my fears of the surgery and the eminent and seemingly "Goliath" task of parenting three young children. No, we certainly do not have what it takes to get through many experiences that we will soon face, but we can rest easy and peacefully knowing that the One who has us ALWAYS has what it takes. Thanks be to God!
The boys are starting to get more excited, but Benjamin has let us know in his own special way that he is anxious about the upcoming changes. We underestimated how this would impact him, but we are working to address his fears as much as possible. After all, he knows that this will be a permanent change. Evan is not really aware of what is about to happen, which makes it easier in some ways. I just pray that we can give them all what they need so that they don't have to feel afraid or anxious. However, I also know that this is a normal part of adjustment to change, even when the change is good.
As is so often the case, we had a very appropriate and timely sermon today at church. I didn't know if we would make it today since I haven't been sleeping well and generally do not feel great while out and about. However, God wanted me there today and Lance was so helpful with the boys that we all made it happen. Today we talked about the question, "Do I have what it takes?". The pastor, TA, explained that the answer to this question is generally, "No, you don't". He used the story of David and Goliath to illustrate how we should not rely on what we have to get through a tough situation, but on Who has us in the situation. I think this is so relevant given my fears of the surgery and the eminent and seemingly "Goliath" task of parenting three young children. No, we certainly do not have what it takes to get through many experiences that we will soon face, but we can rest easy and peacefully knowing that the One who has us ALWAYS has what it takes. Thanks be to God!
Monday, June 11, 2012
One Week, Let the Countdown Begin!
Now there is only one week left until baby Sawyer joins our family. We have been working on our to-do list for the last several weeks and I think we only have one or two things left. For some reason I have felt that I need to have everything perfect and in order before he gets here, but I know this is not really possible. I believe this is the "nesting" phase of pregnancy, so it must be an innate drive that pushes me to seek over-preparation. I have observed that the nesting phase slows down in the last few weeks as the "incredibly uncomfortable and tired" phase sets in. I have entered the final phase, during which I want nothing more than to lie on my side, sleep, and eat.
The boys started their summer swim lessons again last week. Benjamin is reluctant to put his face in the water, but I'm sure his instructor, Elizabeth, will get him back in the flow in no time. I was surprised to see Evan's willingness to try swimming this year, and his talent for blowing bubbles has only increased. I really do think that he will take well to swimming, and I can't wait to see the progress that they make by the end of the summer.
Evan has been really into hitting balls with either a tennis racket or a baseball bat. Lance bought him some soft balls so he is able to play in the house. This works out okay for me, since it is too hot to play outside. I can simply sit in a chair and throw the balls to him to hit, then he retrieves them for me. Its amazing how long he can do this for, and how good he is getting at it. Also interesting is that he does not show much emotional reaction whether he misses many balls in a row or has several great hits, he just keeps getting ready for the next ball. We are trying to move Evan towards more independence. He is currently learning to take off his shoes and often does so by himself with some encouragement.
Benjamin has been generally interested in collecting things. He loves these tiny little balls that he calls "bb's", since I think they came from a toy bb gun. He is really quite obsessed with collecting these tiny balls and becomes quite upset if he loses any of them. This is indeed a frequent problem since they are so little and are basically made to be lost. He has also shown recent interest in collecting insects. The grandparents took him to Sonic, where he and Evan got "bug catchers". Really I must say that these were about the coolest happy meal-type toys that I have ever seen. He is able to capture insects in it, and easily releases them when he is ready to find more. He had us joining in his hunt for insects for about a week after the got the toy.
This weekend we took it a little easier and just spent some good time with the boys while our painter worked on the sitting room in our bedroom. Things are finally coming in our room, and it is almost completely made over since a few months ago. I did not really intend to do this, but changing the bedding required other changes. Thankfully, Lance was on board for all of it and even seemed to enjoy the process. Today I was quite worn out and did not want to do ANYTHING, but somehow made it through the day and managed to get the boys to the gym in the 100 degree heat. I think it might be the last trip to the gym until after baby Sawyer.
Last week at my OBGYN appointment, I was lucky enough to get the cutest 3-D pics of Sawyer. They made me want to squeeze and kiss on him but I will have to wait another week. As anyone can see, he is adorable!
.JPG)
The boys started their summer swim lessons again last week. Benjamin is reluctant to put his face in the water, but I'm sure his instructor, Elizabeth, will get him back in the flow in no time. I was surprised to see Evan's willingness to try swimming this year, and his talent for blowing bubbles has only increased. I really do think that he will take well to swimming, and I can't wait to see the progress that they make by the end of the summer.
Evan has been really into hitting balls with either a tennis racket or a baseball bat. Lance bought him some soft balls so he is able to play in the house. This works out okay for me, since it is too hot to play outside. I can simply sit in a chair and throw the balls to him to hit, then he retrieves them for me. Its amazing how long he can do this for, and how good he is getting at it. Also interesting is that he does not show much emotional reaction whether he misses many balls in a row or has several great hits, he just keeps getting ready for the next ball. We are trying to move Evan towards more independence. He is currently learning to take off his shoes and often does so by himself with some encouragement.
Benjamin has been generally interested in collecting things. He loves these tiny little balls that he calls "bb's", since I think they came from a toy bb gun. He is really quite obsessed with collecting these tiny balls and becomes quite upset if he loses any of them. This is indeed a frequent problem since they are so little and are basically made to be lost. He has also shown recent interest in collecting insects. The grandparents took him to Sonic, where he and Evan got "bug catchers". Really I must say that these were about the coolest happy meal-type toys that I have ever seen. He is able to capture insects in it, and easily releases them when he is ready to find more. He had us joining in his hunt for insects for about a week after the got the toy.
This weekend we took it a little easier and just spent some good time with the boys while our painter worked on the sitting room in our bedroom. Things are finally coming in our room, and it is almost completely made over since a few months ago. I did not really intend to do this, but changing the bedding required other changes. Thankfully, Lance was on board for all of it and even seemed to enjoy the process. Today I was quite worn out and did not want to do ANYTHING, but somehow made it through the day and managed to get the boys to the gym in the 100 degree heat. I think it might be the last trip to the gym until after baby Sawyer.
Last week at my OBGYN appointment, I was lucky enough to get the cutest 3-D pics of Sawyer. They made me want to squeeze and kiss on him but I will have to wait another week. As anyone can see, he is adorable!
.JPG)
Monday, June 4, 2012
Two Weeks to Go!
I can't believe Sawyer will be here in only two weeks! At the same time I am quite ready for the pregnancy to come to an end. Its hard to explain the feeling of waiting for something to happen and counting the days, but having part of myself wanting it to slow down and not come so quickly. After all, I am nervous about surgery, and I know that I should enjoy these last two weeks of uninterrupted sleep. I don't think I felt quite this way the other two times, but after almost 27 (non-consecutive) months of being pregnant, I believe it has finally caught up with me. Being able to wear clothes that fit is going to feel good, as will standing up for more than five minutes without my leg going numb. Still, it is bittersweet because I have cherished being pregnant and know what a precious gift it is to carry a baby in my womb.
Tonight I am lying in bed and I can hear Lance telling the boys goodnight upstairs. He has been great helping me out in the evenings when my body is too tired to be giving little boys baths and putting on their pyjamas. I'm looking forward to doing that again without feeling uncomfortable. Right now my body feels best in bed and I wish I could stay here all the time. I get so bloated after dinner and my belly sticks out so much that my back aches and I feel as if I am going to explode. I have recently joked that I might have to secretly put myself on bedrest. I could have come home from the doctor stating that she ordered me on bedrest for the last few weeks and no one would be the wiser. Haha!
Tomorrow the boys have school and I will get my hair done so that it looks okay when we have our portraits taken in a few weeks. I have a semi-final list of to-do's that I will try to attack with some semblance of motivation. My list includes the last things that I need to wrap up my professional life before it goes into hibernation again for the next few years. I might even have time to watch the French Open for a few minutes while I complete some tasks like organizing baby clothes and making sure everything is in its place. Thursday is my birthday and I will celebrate by getting a massage at the pregnancy spa that is down the street. Oh, that will feel SO amazing!
Yes, its hard to put into words the feeling of waiting just two more weeks for life to change forever. I can't fathom having three children but in a mere blink of an eye, I will know it. I'm a bit nervous about all of that but God has always been faithful in getting me through the challenges of life. I will lean on Him and there is no way that I can fail. Bring on the baby!
Tonight I am lying in bed and I can hear Lance telling the boys goodnight upstairs. He has been great helping me out in the evenings when my body is too tired to be giving little boys baths and putting on their pyjamas. I'm looking forward to doing that again without feeling uncomfortable. Right now my body feels best in bed and I wish I could stay here all the time. I get so bloated after dinner and my belly sticks out so much that my back aches and I feel as if I am going to explode. I have recently joked that I might have to secretly put myself on bedrest. I could have come home from the doctor stating that she ordered me on bedrest for the last few weeks and no one would be the wiser. Haha!
Tomorrow the boys have school and I will get my hair done so that it looks okay when we have our portraits taken in a few weeks. I have a semi-final list of to-do's that I will try to attack with some semblance of motivation. My list includes the last things that I need to wrap up my professional life before it goes into hibernation again for the next few years. I might even have time to watch the French Open for a few minutes while I complete some tasks like organizing baby clothes and making sure everything is in its place. Thursday is my birthday and I will celebrate by getting a massage at the pregnancy spa that is down the street. Oh, that will feel SO amazing!
Yes, its hard to put into words the feeling of waiting just two more weeks for life to change forever. I can't fathom having three children but in a mere blink of an eye, I will know it. I'm a bit nervous about all of that but God has always been faithful in getting me through the challenges of life. I will lean on Him and there is no way that I can fail. Bring on the baby!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)