One Week Old

I can't believe that Sawyer joined our family just one week ago.  Already, he has an entire portfolio of photographs taken by several great photographers.  There is such an urge to capture these fleeting moments of newbornhood before they are forever gone.  Despite the discomforts of recovering from his birth and not getting much of any sleep, part of me does not want this time to go by.  I know how quickly it changes, for how brief a time he will be so tiny.  I adore stroking his soft face and putting my finger in his little hand.  The sounds he makes and the little faces are priceless and just so precious.

Like before, with Evan's birth, I feel sad about my other boys.  I worry that they feel abandoned by me and it just breaks my heart.  My love for them just seems to burst in these moments and I want to spend individual time with them so badly.  However, my days have been consumed by care for Sawyer; nursing for forty minutes at a time ten times per day, changing diapers, and coaxing him to sleep.  The first days have also been consumed by my need to recover from surgery and find the time to take care of these basic needs of my own.  I must trust that this time is brief and that soon our family will adjust, and I will feel able to meet the needs of my other two boys.  Of course, when I look at Sawyer and see what a miracle he is, it all seems worth it.  Everyday I say the prayer, "Lord, please give me the strength to cope and to care for my children".  Again I am reminded of the last church service that we went to and the message that we do not have what it takes, but the One who has us always has what it takes.  Amen.