Days at Home

Just in the last few months it seems that I am enjoying staying home with the boys more.  I think I have relaxed some of the expectations I had for myself, such as establishing a structured routine and making sure to go on an outing every day.  You see, some days we don't go anywhere.  We might leave the house to go outside, but we never leave our lovely neighborhood.  That used to bother me, as if I had judged that I was not doing enough (being lazy).  These days I am taking the boys out less and enjoying it more.


The last few days have been particularly enjoyable since daylight savings time has created an extra hour of sunlight and the weather has been warm.  We have been walking around the neighborhood and enjoying the beauty of the surrounding greenbelt with its intensely yellow flowers.  The boys have been playing with their bikes in the front yard, and I have been sitting in a chair on the lawn, as we wait for Lance to come home from work.

For the most part, the boys and I have quite a bit of fun in our days.  Sure, there is the ever-present struggle to get a two year-old to have his diaper changed and constant urging the four year-old to put his socks and shoes on, but I have habituated to that now.  Evan is the silliest little boy, and he cracks me up every day.  He toddles around the house making silly noises and saying the funniest things.  I love to watch Benjamin and Evan interact and it brings joy to see how close they are.  They sit side-by-side at the table for breakfast and I even saw them holding hands while eating breakfast!  Today Evan was crying because I told him he could not watch cartoons.  Benjamin said in the most nurturing voice, "Evan, Evan, its okay.  Why are you crying?  You can watch cartoons after your nap".  They then hugged and Evan stopped crying.  Its just amazing to see my first baby playing the nurturer, and being so good at it!  He can make hundreds of perfect football throws, and score goal after goal, but this makes me the proudest.  Yes, we are doing good around here.

What a great weekend we had!  It has rained here the last 3 days in a row and has been completely cloudy, but the sun finally came out today.  We ordered some plants from Sunset Valley and brought them over to Larry and Lea's house to get their lush backyard landscape started.  Everyone pitched in to help and we had about twenty plants in the ground in an hour.  It helped that the ground was nice and moist from all of the rain.  Its amazing how the backyard already looks so much nicer with just these few plants.  It feels great to help my in-laws to have an enjoyable environment to spend their time in.  Pretty soon we will complete their patio and pergola so we can really sit out and enjoy the scenery.  

Family life has been a lot of fun lately with relatively little stress.We went out to enjoy a family dinner at Chuy's followed by ice cream at Austin Scoops.  For the last few weeks, Benjamin had been asking me when we were going to these places, so I thought we would knock them both out on the same night.  I remarked to Lance how easy it is for us now to go out with the two boys and it is even becoming enjoyable.  Leave it to us to feel the need to challenge ourselves once things become manageable.  I'm thinking we should try to enjoy the next three months as much as possible before Sawyer comes along and we adjust all over again to a new challenge when out as a family.  Right now things are about as good as they could get.  Although I know that life will be difficult soon, I have learned to have faith that we will soon adjust again and be back in the groove, a new groove.  I just can't imagine being more blessed in this life.  Thank you, Lord.

Tennis Lessons

 Benjamin had his first tennis lesson yesterday and it was a definite success.  He has always watched tennis and learned about it because I am an avid fan.  Its not that I ever really played in competition, but I LOVE to watch others play.  I love the intensity of the finals of a grand slam, to see the psychological dynamics of the match.  I also just love the shear excitement of the long rallies followed up by a huge winner down the line.  Benjamin has patiently watched some tennis with me over the first four years of his life.  He knows the basic rules, but the scoring is a little too complex for him yet.  We have a tennis racket and he has enjoyed hitting the balls.  We have all noticed that he has quite a knack for hitting (and throwing).  I will say that I gave him a choice of several sports to learn this Spring, and he chose tennis (YES!).  


My parents, Evan and I were all on hand for the first lesson.  The teacher is an older lady with a raspy voice and an enthusiastic manner.  She must be a special lady to have been teaching 4 year-olds tennis for many years.  They played two games to introduce the kids to some basic skills.  I am proud to say that Benjamin won both of the games.  He is such a good listener and seems to focus at a very high level for his age.  I hope we do not put pressure on him just because he is such a natural talent for sports.  I pray that he just learns to have fun and does not put too much pressure on himself to win at everything, but I know his personality (and mine) and it might be difficult.  For now we'll just enjoy these early sports experiences and I can have fun imagining him as the next Rafael Nadal (the tow-headed American version, that is).  

The Greenbelt is back!

Its that time of year again. Everything is turning green, the Mountain Laurel is in bloom with its grape koolaid fragrance, leaves are budding on the trees, and roses are starting to form buds. At the risk of repeating myself incessantly, I will go ahead and say that I LOVE the start of Spring. There is so much anticipation of what is to come, waiting and watching for each different variety of plant to bloom. The smells in the air and the intensity of color in nature just fill my senses and is an ever-present reminder of how much God loves us. Of course, its hard not to mention that Spring also mirrors the process that I am going through with pregnancy, waiting for my baby boy to grow and be born. That, along with the joy of seeing Evan and Benjamin frolic in these beautiful outdoors, makes this Spring about the best one that I can remember. As an added bonus, it came about a month earlier this year than last.

The other day Benjamin asked if we could take a walk out in the greenbelt. I can't believe how green it really is now. This summer it was so dry that we began to call it the "brownbelt". It was just a barren field of dried up weeds. Now, even before the official start of Spring, it is bursting with green. Its amazing how you take things for granted and when they are gone and come back, you appreciate them even more. That's how I think we are all feeling right now. This is a very visible example of God's faithfulness. For me it is another example of how God will make things more beautiful in the aftermath of something painful like the drought that we had last summer. On the other side of the pain is a deeper understanding of God's love and promise to never abandon us.

Today we took a walk in the greenbelt. Benjamin brought his backpack and his butterfly net. He received the net a year ago but caught nothing, as we hardly had any butterflies due to the drought. I am very proud to announce that he caught and released his first butterfly. By the looks of things all around us, he will have many more butterflies to catch this Spring!

A Whole Lot of Love

Benjamin has been so sweet lately. He has really been expressing his love for me in very charming ways. Yesterday he told me, "whenever I follow you around, that means I love you!". That's such a better way to view it than thinking that he is being "clingy" or "needy". He also tells me that if ever Evan or Sawyer will not give me a hug, he will. He goes on to clarify that this will occur even when he is "big". He often puts his arms out to indicate just how much he loves me, Evan, or daddy, and exclaims that he "loves us around the whole world". I am so glad that Benjamin is in touch with his love for his family and I hope it only grows, although I know someday soon the expression of his love may not be so forthcoming or look quite as it does today. That is why I must remember to treasure every minute and to really be in the moment with my children as they are today.

Team of Helpers

Benjamin is in a helping phase lately, and it just melts my heart when he is so eager to help. When I ask him to do something, like get a diaper for Evan, he says, "I sure can!". I can tell that he just feels so good about himself when he is helping. Benjamin has always helped in the garden, even when he was two years old. Like many young children, he relishes the opportunity to dig and just anything that involves the moving around of dirt. Now that I am pregnant I really could use his help in the garden. Digging holes and bending over are not very agreeable to me right now and any bit of help is welcomed. A couple of days ago Benjamin offered to help me plant a new tree that we bought at The Natural Gardener. Not only did he help, but he pretty much did it all by himself, and even supervised Evan during the latter stages of the project. Now I am really thinking that it could be good to have three tough little boys. Just think of all the work that they could do in the garden!

Later than evening as Benjamin and I were reflecting on his enjoyment of helping and how much mommy appreciates it. I told him that he would probably have many opportunities to help, especially as he will soon be the oldest of three brothers. Benjamin looked at me excitedly and said, "Evan, me, you and daddy can all help Sawyer, we can be a team of helpers". Again, the warm feelings were surrounding my heart as I imagined all of the love that our family will share in the coming years. Now, I must put my mind to promoting this helping philosophy so that it will continue and flourish!

Three's Company

After a very long hiatus, I've decided to get back in the blogging business. There's really no excuse for stopping in the first place, but I can try to blame it on going back to work and just being too tired in the evenings to do anything that takes mental energy. However, there is a very good reason for starting again. We are having another baby! Lance and I found out in October that we will be adding a third child to the family. This is never something we expected, but it was planned after very careful consideration. I can't explain why I couldn't stop thinking about having another baby this past summer. Not a moment in my life had I considered that I would have more than two children. It took lots of analysis of positives and negatives, asking some mothers of three or more, and praying before Lance and I agreed it was the best thing for our family. We just imagined that, despite the extra work we are creating for ourselves, a bigger family might just be better for us in many ways. We were both one of two siblings growing up, so this would be something different from our previous experience of family.

In January we found out the gender our our third child. Naturally, we were both thinking a girl would be awesome and totally unexpected. When we went in for the ultrasound it was immediately apparent that we would not be having a girl. There was some disappointment for me. It was not that I didn't want a boy, or that I didn't love boys, but that I knew for sure that I would never have a daughter. When you have three kids, you just naturally expect that one of them will be a girl. Life is full of experiences, and having a daughter is one that is just not part of God's plan for us. As I grappled with this reality, I realized several things that have helped me find closure to my dream of a little girl. First, with three boys, I will likely have three daughters-in-law and possibly granddaughters. Second, I can teach my sons how to relate better to women by showing them about feelings, showing empathy, and demonstrating listening skills. Finally, what a gift for Evan, Benjamin, and the new baby to grow up as three brothers! I also realized that God had different plans for me and my family than what I thought was best or ideal. For some reason that I can't yet imagine, a family of three boys is what is best for all of us. The fulfillment of God's plan far outweighs my desire to buy pink clothes and to have someone to go shopping with. My vision is Earthly, short-sighted, and temporary, His plans are all-knowing and eternal.

I'm at 21 weeks now and we expect our third son, Sawyer, to arrive in late June. I am so glad that we decided to have another child, and I can't wait to meet him!

He is waving at us!